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Posted By Nan

Psalm 121

I have often mentioned in my blogs that I believe God helps us, but that I don’t believe He necessarily wants to help me.

It is important I explain that.

I am a counsellor who works predominantly with people who have experienced trauma. A lot of people who I work with either don’t believe in God or don’t trust Him very much. The reason for this is the big question. 

How could God allow these horrible things to happen to me?

That is a big question. My answer is that this is the question that has been asked for as long as people have walked this earth. How could God allow bad things to happen?

I have never heard a satisfactory answer.

I have asked this question myself.

I had a traumatic childhood, the ramifications of which still cause problems in my life today.

I love God. I believe Jesus died for my sins. I seek to follow Jesus in my life. I believe God helps people and performs miracles. I know God helps me in my life.

But.

I don’t believe God will intervene in the horrible things that have happened to me and continue to happen. I have no evidence to support the view that “things will work out”. 

In fact, with some of my abusers God has told me their behaviour is their journey. That is His only answer. 

I believe that God was with me when I was a child and did give me some comfort. I believe that I am as mentally healthy as I am because of God. I know people who had childhood trauma as bad as mine who have been severely impacted. So I know that God helped me in some way. 

I see my life as being the way of the Footprints poem by Margaret Fishback Powers. Sometimes in the hard times He carries us. He doesn’t stop what is happening. But He does offer support.

I have asked desperately for help over my lifetime. What I have learned as an adult is that God sometimes say No. He won’t intervene to stop the abuse, but He will carry us.

I don’t know why God says No. I don’t believe God is a harsh, judgemental, uncaring God. I believe He cares deeply. I just don’t believe he always says Yes.

And I am learning to be okay with that.

 
Posted By Nan

Ephesians 2: 14-18

“For he himself is our peace, who has made the two groups one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, by setting aside in his flesh the law with its commands and regulations. His purpose was to create in himself one new humanity out of the two, thus making peace, and in one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility. He came and preached peace to you who were far away and peace to those who were near. For through him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit.” NIV

Reading my Bible last night, this section really struck me. Jesus destroyed barriers between believers. He destroyed the law, commands and regulations. Yet we constantly try to impose barriers and legalistic regulations on faith. There is no belief that we our belief in Jesus and desire to follow Him will get us into heaven. We are still being drawn into the web of this is the only way to worship to get into heaven. 

This takes me back to the 1990s when we were told we had to be baptised in the spirit or we wouldn’t be saved. I have read the Bible several times and still can’t find the verse that says that.

I was recently reading an article about Hillsong and other Pentecostal churches that used image and glitz to promote themselves and attract people.

This journalist related how they watched these charming, charismatic leaders with their glitzy media personas and expensive accessories such as gold watches. 

I remember in the 90s when it was very trendy to follow these superstar leaders and glitzy churches. The old way of worship was so outdated and people raced to replace it. Yet people still speak of the old hymns as favourites for the love of God they expressed.

I remember the Christian bookshops that popped everywhere. If you wanted a new Bible you didn’t have to travel to a major centre to a bookshop of one of those old traditional churches, you could just pop into one of those shops. And better still, you could buy books on how to interpret the scriptures, how to interpret the world around you and what was good and bad, how to know which regulations you should follow in order to be saved, books relating the stories of others, CDs, cassette tapes, tea towels with snappy sayings, paperweights reminding you how much Jesus loved you, wall hangings, t-shirts, badges. You name it you could buy it. There was quite a market in Christian merchandise and much money to be had if you marketed your Christian bookshop well. I know, I had friends who owned one.

There is a Christian bookshop near where I live. I occasionally drive past it, I even visited a shop next door one day, but I haven’t gone into it for years. I am not interested in the Christian marketing. I have several Bibles, one particularly well worn because I read it every day, others as cross referencing when I write my blogs. I don’t need any more and I am not interested in supporting such an industry.

The promise in the 90s was that these new Pentecostal churches were for those who were burned out on religion and looking for something new. But it soon proved hollow.

I was living in Europe when everything seemed to go pear shaped. Prominent church leaders had God-like celebrity status. Prominent church leaders cheated on their wives.  Prominent church leaders were found to have lied about illnesses to promote their programs or songs they had written. Prominent church leaders were being accused of preying on underage children in their churches and sexually abusing them. Prominent church leaders were accused of covering up the paedophilia. (That sounds familiar. They were being just like the older established churches). Prominent church leaders were found to have embezzled money from their churches. Visiting speakers were being given very expensive gifts, which church leaders also seemed to be giving themselves. 

Image was more important than integrity. Image was more important than God.

Parishioners were well dressed people with impressive incomes. Don’t bother joining these churches unless you have a lot of money.

Gone were the church leaders living in humble dwellings and low incomes. These new leaders were rolling in money and enjoying palatial homes, fancy cars and designer clothes.

This is not the Jesus we know from the Bible. The humble man who was homeless. The humble man who relied on the charity of others to eat. The humble man who wore simple clothes. The humble man who walked everywhere when many of these modern church leaders would be riding in beautiful gold panelled chariots with expensive, pedigree horses. 
The Jesus I know in the Bible would go among the sick and poor. If he was on earth today he would visit homeless shelters, soup kitchens, Women’s shelters, the places the homeless sleep at night, the homes of the poor. He would talk to the transgender person too frightened to step outside their front door because of terrible abuse. He would tell a young teen struggling to accept their homosexuality that He loves them and worries about the abuse they suffer. He would walk away from the established churches with their legalism and harshness and towards those stumbling in darkness.

I have been to some of these glitzy churches, I even studied music ministry at one of the glitzy churches Bible Colleges. I know the tricks used in services to draw people in and feed an atmosphere that crescendos in a high and simulates the anointing of the Holy Spirit. I can tell you that these crescendos are nothing like the anointing of the Holy Spirit. That when I have been in these churches I have felt despair at the lack of worship going on. People are singing to God, and some genuinely believe they are, but they aren’t. They have never been taught. 

This is not to say the older more traditional styles of worship are any better. All the churches fail when they fail to lead people to true worship in Jesus. All the glitz and glamour won’t replace the absence of God.

People are not being introduced to God. They are not getting an opportunity to know God. They don’t understand that they must have a personal relationship with God. 
I know I harp on about this, but that personal relationship with God is vital. Yet people are not getting the message.

When Jesus asks people to “Follow Me” who will follow Him? 

 
Posted By Nan

Psalm 16

I hear a lot from people who have come from traumatised pasts. Searching desperately for healing, they encounter people who are enthusiastically in love with Jesus. The charisma of the person. The enthusiasm of the person. All draw them in to this beautiful sense of healing. Of belonging. Of love.

And while this enthusiastic person continues to fill their cup with their own love and enthusiasm for Jesus the traumatised person can believe. 

But some day this enthusiastic person isn’t there any more.

And they can no longer feel the enthusiasm.

Because they never met Jesus, only a charismatic person who was on fire for Jesus but unable to bring them to meet Jesus.

And the person questions what they believe. Because all they know is the legalistic framework of faith without the faith.

And they turn away from what they believe because they have no personal relationship with Jesus.

Because they have never heard God, or been in His presence.

This is the danger that I have been trying to warn people of.

The danger of being caught up in another person's idea of who God is. Of how to follow Jesus. 

But that is their way, not yours.

Your way of following Jesus is unique.

Your way of relating to God is unique.

When you have been traumatised, it is hard to trust that you can know God.

It is hard to allow Him into your heart.

It is hard to feel worthy of His love.

It is hard to see God as trustworthy.

But it is in your brokenness that you can find Him.

Don’t worry about the “doctrine”.

Worry about being in His presence. Just being with Him. Just being.

That is the most important thing.

Your faith should not rely on weekly top ups of faith. On the weekly buzz to sustain you until the next one.

Your faith should be renewed constantly by God’s presence in your life.

It isn’t that hard.

You are always worthy, no matter how “bad” you believe you are.

Stop thinking you have to behave in certain ways. God takes you as you are, in this moment in time. If He wants to change you, then He will do that over time.

Because God is not the doctrines that you hear and the harsh judgements and pronouncements on who is a “sinner” and who isn’t. 

We all are and that doesn’t make us bad, it just makes us human.

Let go of what you have heard and just be with God.

Seek and He will come to you.

Trust that and let go of all the things others tell you are “God’s laws”. Remember Jesus said that the first commandment is to love God with all your heart, soul and mind and the second is to love others. (Matthew 22:37-40).  That is it. No judgements.

Your relationship with God is between you and God. There are no intermediaries. If you feel you need a boost of connection with a friend you communicate with your friend. If you want that boost of connection with God you communicate with Him. That is between you and God.

And the beauty of communicating with God is it can be anywhere. No telephones, no computers necessary. Just you and God, wherever you are.

 

 

 
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Nan
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